“Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared”
Are you preparing for mediation? Are you READY to sort things out TOGETHER, with your former partner, in your first mediation session?
How can you prepare yourself for best results?
Unless you are able to communicate well enough with each other within the support framework of mediation, you will find yourselves unable to make decisions together and, ultimately, unable to resolve and solve things together.
This is not to say, of course that as your first mediation session approaches, you will not be worried about all sorts of things.
That is quite natural. A bit of anxiety and discomfort is quite natural, for all sorts of reasons.
Sadly, however, due to these anxieties, it is also quite common for many people to reject mediation, as an option, without ever really understanding what they are saying ‘no’ to or what they are capable of, only to end up in court months later feeling even more disempowered, having spend £1000’s to get nowhere.
This is because too often many people permit fear and worry to take control and get the better of them and their decision making.
In this chapter and series of videos, we want to introduce you to our pre-mediation questionnaire, which you will find in the document section on this webpage, and take you through each question in a way that best prepares you and your former partner to have an outcome and solution focused discussion with the mediator, about how to overcome the challenges ahead.
Our hope is that, after reading this chapter, watching our videos and completing the questionnaire, you will feel clearer and more confident about the mediation process and path ahead and perhaps even about your ability to tackle the challenges of mediation.
If you go on to mediation, the aim is to use what you discover from completing this questionnaire, and in your initial conversation with the mediator in your MIAM, to help you prepare to communicate and problem solve with your former partner in mediation.
‘Preparing to communicate’ for mediation is so important that we have written is a whole chapter on this subject, providing questionnaires, guides and videos to support you.
If you are anticipating a challenging conversation and feeling very uncomfortable about coming into mediation please do not let this put you off, at the first hurdle. Note the areas of discomfort in your pre-mediation questionnaire and discuss these with your mediator and ask them what they can do to support you and what you can be doing to support yourself.
The mediator may also talk to you early on about the benefits of working with a Divorce Coach, to help you get the best out of yourself.
The pre-mediation questionnaire
Turning to the pre-mediation questionnaire, the main aim of this document is to help each person (The decision makers) in the mediation process to prepare themselves on the basis that mediation, as a starting point, requires an good understanding of, among other things, each person’s beliefs, feelings, values, needs and interests, revealed by their narratives.
The questionnaire helps everyone to focus their attention on the practical and emotional challenges they are likely to face in mediation so that they can begin to prepare themselves and create a plan to overcome them.
Your questionnaire will not be shared with anyone else, without your express permission
Please complete and return this document by email to the mediator BEFORE your pre-mediation information and assessment or MIAM. The document is in Word format so the answer boxes should expand where necessary
The mediator will then be able to discuss and explore your answers with you, in a safe, confidential environment, and begin to prepare and support you for the mediation journey ahead.
On to the questionnaire itself.