The No-Fault Divorce Challenge

The No-Fault Divorce Challenge

An end to the fault-based divorce law does not of course mean an end to divorces defined by fault, judgement and blame.

Anyone who has divorced or works with divorcing couples knows only too well how painful the whole process can be.

The drive for many people to find fault in their partners, when they separate, can feel overwhelming and need expression in one form or another.

This, in itself, is completely understandable but the concern is that this drive to find fault translates into the need to find ways of making the separation and divorce as difficult as possible.

Divorce Process Pitfalls

Despite the laudable aims of the new divorce law to be fault free, there are aspects of it which have the potential for leaving a wounded person feeling even more wounded and disempowered and plenty of opportunity for them to cause mischief with the divorce process.

Have a look at section 6 of the divorce chapter Q&As and section 7, highlighting some of the Pitfalls of the divorce process.

I will talk and write more about this in future blogs and videos.

One key objective of the no-fault divorce is not to deny people their beliefs and feelings about each other, but to emphasise the need for these beliefs and feelings not to define the divorce, with the potential of damaging the ongoing parenting relationship and children.

A fair divorce settlement

The removal of the fault basis for divorce sends the challenging message that whatever you may believe and feel about your former partner and their behaviour, the process of bringing the marriage to an end and reaching a fair divorce settlement and child arrangements should not be used as a mechanism to punish each other.

This can be challenging message indeed.

The No-Fault divorce challenge

The introduction of the long overdue no-fault divorce law and messages it sends is a good starting point, but the most important task is the one facing you, the separating couple, which is to be able to make important practical decisions together when your marriage comes to an end, despite how you might be feeling.

There are processes and family professionals to support you if you want to do this and where it is safe to do so, such as mediation and there are legal processes if you cannot or do not wish to, such as court process.

If you are going through a separation, my hope for you is that, despite the challenging situation and often overwhelming emotions you may be experiencing, you are able find the strength within yourself, to end things in a way that you can look back on and say to yourself that you did your very best, in a very difficult situation.