“Be the parent today that you want your kids to remember tomorrow.”
The overriding aim of this chapter, resources and website is to help and support parents who have separated or who are in the process of separating and committed to ‘working together’ to change and improve things for themselves and their children and prepared to work at it !
We want to help parents to ‘redefine’ their relationship with their separated partner, improve their communication and create a Parenting plan which works for them both and reflects the best interests of their children.
So,
- If you fed up with the constant bickering and being misunderstood all the time
- If you feel that your ex refuses to listen to you and it always seems to end up in a shouting match.
- If it has got to the point that everything your former partner says or does just irritates you?
- If you have had to resort to emailing and texting and even this ends up in an online ‘bun fight’ and
- If everything just seems like a continuous struggle!
You really want to avoid court proceedings
You really want things to change for the better
And you are very much prepared to put in the work to improve things
We are here to tell you that with time, real effort and a commitment from both parents, things can and will improve for you.
In this chapter and 8 videos series-Creating a shared parenting plan, we want to take you on a 5 stage journey which will:
- Transform the way you communicate with your ex-partner,
- Help you to reach your own Parenting Plan and agreements together rather than going through the courts.
- Significantly improve the ongoing support you are both able give each other and your children, by working more effectively together.
We are all aware of the devastating and long term effects that unresolved conflict, often played out in front of the children, can have on you and them or at least we all need to be.
For more information about how children are affected by and often respond to parental separation and conflict have a look at the next chapter and video series- How to children respond to parental separation
This Chapter and video series has been created and designed to help and support you and the other parent to:
- work together to improve your communication, plan how you are going to care for your children and protect them from some of the more adverse effects of your separation.
- develop a better understanding and insight into what you and your children need and how to go about meeting these needs.
With this in mind we ask you to make best use of the 4 questionnaires we provide and refer to in this chapter, completing them and even sharing them to discuss between you, in and outside mediation. Please use these questionnaires to build your understanding.
“Humble empathic curiosity is the pathway to insight and understanding. Better understanding and insight is the pathway to better communication and relationships and better relationships and communication are the pathway and keys to reaching better outcomes for yourselves and your children”- The author
They include the following which you can find in the useful document resources section supporting this chapter.
Your answers should raise your understanding and awareness of a range of important matters to be discussed in mediation when it comes to considering ways to improve your parenting relationship, your communication and sorting out your child arrangements, in a way that meets everyone’s needs.
As well as using these questionnaires we also recommend that you read, study and watch the series about preparing to communicate in mediation and use the tools in support of that chapter and perhaps read the guide about how to prepare for your first mediation session.
Also, Resolution has created an excellent guide to help parents through separation which includes some excellent information to support parents to support each other and their children.
It may also be worth considering and discussing with your mediator whether you might benefit from some additional support from other family experts, such as Divorce Coaches or Child Therapists and Psychologists, as you navigate your way through mediation, working together with the other parent.
Having the right support circle around you can be crucial at this time.
Start your journey with the next section and video, introducing the 5 key stages.
If you have not yet bought this Manual you will need to do so before you continuing. Please go to the Buy page.