Good Intent and Commitment are essential for a successful mediation.
The Commitment email you are sent are your MIAMs begins with the statement that Good Intent and Commitment are essential for a successful mediation.
Good intent, on its own is not enough, it must be followed through with a strong and clear commitment.
It is your commitment that transforms your good intent into the reality of a successful mediation.
Mediation does not require you to be perfect, by any means but it does require you to actively engage in this team-based solution focused process in a way that aligns with your values. These values may include honesty, openness, curiosity, respect, kindness, empathy, gratitude, and even generosity
However, please remember, words are one thing, actions quite another.
So, at this stage, you are asked to do 3 things
First, please carefully reflect on your reasons for choosing mediation, your Why, your motivation because it is this that will propel you through any rough patches.
These can of course include things such as
• wanting to avoid court, keeping stress and costs to a minimum.
• Wanting to resolve things in a dignified, respectful and constructive way and
• wanting to achieve a fair outcome, fair to you, your former partner and your children.
Whatever your reasons, they will need to energise and motivate you.If you feel like giving up, at any stage, use these things to remind yourself why you started.
Second, please take some time to read chapter 4 of the Divorce Manual and the Resources section, which houses some great self-empowerment tools for you to use, if you choose to, of course.
I strongly recommend reading the guide- a constructive problem solving dialogue, which set out some common challenges to communication in mediation, a 5 stage approach to exploring options and a detailed section on communication skills, to help you overcome these challenges.
Thirdly, please take some time to prepare a statement of intent and commitment.
This can make the difference between succeeding and failing in mediation.
There is an example of this and a supporting section in chapter 4 of the Divorce Manual to help you.
Perhaps look at this Statement of intent and commitment as the first important action you can take to demonstrate to yourself and your former partner, the level of your commitment to mediation.
You might even want to exchange statements of intent and commitment with your former partner, establishing a powerful shared intent and commitment.
Now, of course, you do not have to do any of these things but then don’t be surprised to learn that those couples who do the things we recommend, go on to succeed in mediation, avoiding court, minimising their costs and reaching fair outcomes for themselves.
Good luck