The MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting)
“The Olive branch and the Stick”
- What is a MIAM?
- What is the main purpose of a MIAM?
- What is discussed and explored during a MIAM?
- What outcomes can you expect from the MIAM?
What is the MIAM ?
The MIAM is a Confidential Mediation Info and assessment meeting, between you and an Accredited Mediator, typically taking between 45 mins and 1 hour.
If you would like someone else with you (not your former partner) at this meeting, please discuss this with the mediator first.
What is the purpose of a MIAM
The primary purpose is to help you decide which Non-Court Dispute Resolution process or combination of processes may be suitable for you.
In this guide the term, Non-Court Dispute Resolution is shortened to ‘NCDR’
The mediator will explore whether it is going to be possible to help you to avoid court, if you wish to, and to keep you and your former partner in the ‘driving seats’, in control of timeframes and costs, making your own decisions and reaching your own outcomes.
What is discussed and explored during the MIAM
The MIAM is a 1-hour journey of discovery for you and the mediator.
The mediator will explore the following main aspects to help them understand your situation so that they can help you to understand your options and decide on the crucial next steps to take.
The mediator will ask you to share your hopes in terms of how you would ideally like to resolve things and the kind of outcome you are hoping for.
They will ask you to share your current situation, providing enough background to help the mediator understand some of the main challenges you have been experiencing, and how they have been affecting you and those involved.
The mediator will discuss what approach and processes you have tried so far to make progress, who has been helping you and, most importantly, why this approach may not be working for you.
They will invite you to share your primary anxieties and concerns about the likely communication challenges for mediation so that the mediator can discuss how they might be able to support you, and former partner, to overcome these challenges, and prepare you for the road ahead.
The mediator will help you understand in detail how they can support you with the extensive skills and resources available to them, in collaboration with other Financial, Parenting and Communication experts, ensuring that you always receive enough practical and emotional support, from your support team, at each stage of mediation.
They will also explain to you and provide information and resources to help you understand the other NCDR options available, how they essentially differ from mediation, including costs and timeframes, so that you can consider information BEFORE deciding on your next steps.
What outcomes can you expect from the MIAM
The mediator will help you to decide whether you would like them to invite your former partner to a MIAM as well, so that they can assess whether mediation, or some other form of NCDR is suitable for you both.
Usually, only by speaking to you and your former partner, separately is the mediator able form a rounded view and accurately assess of whether mediation is suitable and provide you with their recommendation.
This is a very skilled process for which Accredited family mediators are specifically trained and experienced.
The mediator will not be judging what they hear from your former partner, or you, for that matter.
Their aim, at this stage is primarily to assess and decide, by talking to you and your former partner, whether mediation, in the many forms it can take, or some other NCDR process, or processes, are suitable and to help you decide on the next steps.
Perhaps the best way to think of mediation, compared with most of the other NCDR processes, is that the focus of the mediator, and other professionals working with you in mediation, will be to help you and your former partner reach your own decisions and do so in the most constructive, cost effective and efficient way, keeping you both in the driving seats.
In many ways, mediation represents an Olive branch you may wish to hand to your former partner, rather than the Stick of court proceedings.
Mediation is a process firmly rooted in and built on the powerful principle of self-determination and choice and, in this sense, distinguishes itself from most of the other NCDR processes, in which others make decisions for you, which may or may not be right in your situation.
The mediator will give time to reflect on the discussions and options discussed with you, before YOU decide on your next steps, ensuring that YOU feel clear about your options, the likely implications of each one and confident before making your decision about the path you take.
Good luck
John E Hind LLB (Hons). FMCA. CMC reg.
Director, Compass Resolution Ltd
Author, The Divorce Manual