As you approach mediation, there are things you can do to help you remember your intentions and focus your mind on how you are going to behave and respond to the other person, when the time arrives.
When someone perceives you to be making a demand of them they have two options, submit or rebel. Both serve to trigger a counter response of submit or rebel and, so it goes on.
Now is the time to sensitively explore and discover the unmet needs that might lie behind the feelings being expressed.
In this section we run through a script/framework created for you.
Well, perhaps not perfect but hopefully progress, as you begin to see each other’s behaviour as connected to particular core unmet needs that, by working together, can be met.
At this stage, we also offer some strategies for emotional self-regulation and managing self-restraint because, undoubtedly, there will be times when your calm, rational self, will be tested and it is that SELF which will be in most demand, in mediation.
Once you are clear about what you need for yourself and how you might ask for this from the other person(s), in mediation, you are likely to feel better equipped to imagine and explore which unmet needs/values might be driving the other person’s behaviour and what they might need from you.
If you are serious about using mediation as a positive opportunity to communicate and reach quality decisions and outcomes together you will need to ensure that your thoughts and behaviour are aligned with your core values (your conscience)
Mediation is about co-operation and collaboration, not coercion, so, if your intent is to come into mediation to get what you want, at the expense of others, you are in the wrong place and mediation will fail.
This covers some of the emotional challenges and triggers.
